WANTED EDUCATORS


For Crimes Against Complacency

Aliases:
The Grammar Guardian • The Cursive Conjurer • The Equation Whisperer • The Storyteller of Time • The Book Dealer • The Garden Scientist • The Canvas Criminal • The Context Queen

Charges:
Smuggling knowledge across mental borders without permission.
Distributing tidbits of truth, rogue facts, and dangerously inspiring quotes.
Practicing unauthorized grammar correction and penmanship sorcery.
Using mathematical metaphors to incite understanding and awe.
Instigating independent thought via carefully deployed open-ended questions.
Aiding and abetting curiosity in the first degree.
Facilitating addiction to reading, learning, and critical thinking.
Turning classrooms into laboratories, libraries into launchpads, and desks into stages.
Illegally planting seeds of confidence, empathy, and imagination.

Last Seen:

Hunched over a stack of essays with the purple pen of perfection.
Building a volcano out of baking soda.
Reading “just one more chapter” to a room full of mesmerized minds.
Teaching past the bell with Expo-stained hands and a caffeine-fueled heart.

Sentence:

A lifetime of retirement on a lush tropical island.
Rain Showers only when requested (soft as compliments).
Sun that kisses, not burns — perfect for beachside naps.
Cocktails with umbrellas and fruit garnishes served hourly.
Dinners alternate between coconut shrimp and shrimp curry, always with seconds.
Optional daily lessons in hammock philosophy and star navigation.

💥 Approach with Appreciation 💥

These educators are armed with insight and considered extremely transformative.
If seen, thank them — and maybe bring them a coffee.

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